I slammed the cupboard door with a resounding thud. "Really, the crockpot? He took the crockpot?" Hadn't he taken enough? My hopes for the future. My dreams of an intact family. I had lost 15 pounds in the fourth month of pregnancy with my first son and was hospitalized on bedrest. He left. He decided he didn't feel like being married after eight years of marriage and he left me to be a single mom. He didn't want to be a dad and he had completely lost his mind. And now, he had taken the darn crockpot too. He didn't even know how to use the crockpot. I can't even remember the last time he cooked anything. I had been crushed. I had been broken and wallowing in despair. But, at this moment I was just plain mad. I was mad at God. That man had taken so much from me in the blink of an eye and now I didn't even have a crockpot to make dinner while I worked long hours to support my son and I. I finished packing up the kitchen for my move and cried myself to sleep. There was no time or tears left to linger here. I sold the house and was moving to a cheaper condo near my job. Life had not been fair or what I had expected but it marched on....tears and all.
Some weeks later, as I was starting to show my pregnancy, I began the process of moving into my new home. An army of friends surrounded me and cleaned, painted, and repaired my new humble abode because I still was not allowed to lift anything too heavy. My dear friend Diane was scrubbing out the kitchen cupboards when I heard her laugh out loud and call me into the kitchen. She had been party to many grumbling sessions where I cursed him for leaving and then taking the crockpot on top of it all. She would nod sympathetically and hug me and pray for my wounded heart--that somehow I could look beyond this crushing blow to the hopeful new future God had in store for me as a mom. I had witnessed God's unfailing provision in so many ways-- the quick sale of the house, the provision of funds to cover my hospitalizations during the pregnancy and inability to work as a nurse due to my lifting restrictions, and of course the endless army of helpers that surrounded me at every turn.
I guess I thought I had used up my prayers. I put God in a small box--the size of my ability to imagine provision and I did not allow myself to envision Him any bigger. After all, who in their right mind prays for a crockpot? You know--it's kind of silly. There are people starving in Africa--sleeping on the ground. Some people don't even have a cupboard...so that would be selfish, and a waste of a prayer, right? Yeah, I know he numbers the hairs on my head but that doesn't mean he wants me to eat steaming hot pot roast when I get home from work. Oh yeah, and there is that too--if He really cared I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with, right? Yeah. Right. I begged Him and I prayed night after night for God to change my husband's heart and He didn't......so why would he care about my stupid crockpot? Yes, I had put God in a very small box indeed.
Diane called me again. She beaconed me to the kitchen, "Kim, you've gotta see this!" I waddled in, tired from the move. I could feel Isaac kicking. It wouldn't be long at all. Honestly, I was expecting she had found a pipe leak or something else broken. My bitter heart was expecting the worst. Diane's grin was as wide as the sky-- her eyes twinkled and she had a tear streaming down her face. The cupboard was wide open and she pointed. "Look, Kim, do you see it?" There on the bottom shelf, still sealed and new in the box was a crockpot. A brand new crockpot. My heart stopped. In His sovereign loving care God had provided a brand new crockpot for his bitter, broken, angry child-- to show her He still loved her, He still was in control--and yes, He did want her to have steaming hot pot roast after a long day at work.
My box was broken that day. I realized that no care is too small, no request too silly, and no need too obscure to bring to the One who loves my soul. He will not always protect me from the trial but He will walk me through it--sometimes carry me through it--and He will provide all I need to the very end. And sometimes, just because He loves me He provides things I don't need. But, just like a loving earthly father, He desires to lavishly grace us with our heart's desires when it is good for us. That crockpot from heaven taught me I can trust God to provide for my every need and then some.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Willow's Run
In the spring of 2005 Aunt Willow sat in the middle of our living room with a pile of boys around her as she always did. She had a grand idea for the backyard, and wide-eyed Logan, not even 2 years old--chubby cheeked Caleb who was nearly 4, and precocious Isaac who would be turning 6-- were frozen as they listened intently. She wanted to buy them a swing set. The real sturdy wooden kind with a fort on top....one that Daddy would build-- not the flimsy metal kind that hops and skips when you get the swing high enough to reach the stars. A swing set! Aunt Willie was going to buy us a swing set!
I remember it well. Willow and Pete took off to the lumber yard and returned with a rough plan and a book of accessories for the boys to choose from. There was a steering wheel to go atop the fort, a telescope to spy distant ships, a panel of controls and the list went on. The boys had to pick two. Since Isaac was the most vocal he quickly put in his vote and the always agreeable Caleb quickly acquiesced. They would need a steering wheel to steer their ship and a telescope to spot their enemies. It was decided. Daddy got to work right away. Every time Aunt Willow came to visit she was like a kid herself....scampering to the back yard to see the progress that had been made. She was magical. She was incredibly generous and sprinkled those she loved with joy. I still can hear her hearty laugh as her boys would tumble off the swing set to come see their Aunt Willie as she pulled in the driveway....they would run to her and leap into her arms with big hugs and the littlest one would get lifted way up in the air and get "zerberts" on his belly with squeals of giggling. She would call out their pet names-- "I-man, Shorty, and Lumpy" and suddenly it was "Aunt Willie Time" and the boys would relish her very presence for as long as she could stay.
When we unexpectedly had to move from that house two years later, the boys were adamant that "Aunt Willie's swing set" had to come....and so it did. Truth is we all wanted it to come. We couldn't imagine leaving it behind. It had provided so many hours of entertainment...and thus peace for me that it was not even a question. The swing set nestled into it's new setting with ease. It was erected before many of our rooms were unpacked.
While a gaggle of three boys was busy playing on their fort, mom and dad really could accomplish so much more. There were grand builds in the sandbox in which toads were captured from the woods and temporarily became part of the play set where Lego guys and Tonka trucks were only allowed to tread. There were games of tag and monkey bar antics hanging upside-down. There were whirling plunges down the slide. There were skinned knees and smiles, imaginary monsters and squeals of delight. There were fights about whose turn it was, and tears. There were apologies, and sneaky tricks, giggles and grins. There were melted ice cream cones, spilt juice cups, caterpillar "habitats" and ant corrals. There were secret clubs and meetings in the fort. There were signs erected, "No girls allowed". There was a contented mama sipping her lemonade and watching it all. Watching it all and thanking Aunt Willie. I would treasure the times she would visit and sit beside me and witness it all herself.
We would joke about growing old together...about wearing purple....about watching the boys grown up and get married. She wanted to open a café and make soup and teach people how to knit. I thought it was a fine idea and thought it would be great to join her when Peter retired. She was my cousin---the boy's Aunt Willie...but for 44 years we were joined at the heart. We would reminisce about our childhood together, life on the farm, our Nanny and our Bumpy, or any of the hundreds of "Thelma and Louise" like adventures we had been on together in our decades long friendship.
Today I wandered out into the yard after a rain storm. The swing set was damp and had the look of an abandoned ghost town. A few broken trucks dotted the sandbox and the grass around the swing is tall...for no foot steps trample it down like they used to. Those boys are now nearly 18, 16, and 14. Swing sets are for little boys. Over the past few years I've thought long and hard about if it should be torn down...reconstructed in someone else's yard where it can live again and ignite the imagination of other littles....however, as I sit here on the damp steps with tears streaming down my face I cannot do it. I am not one to hold onto worldly possessions. When the boys outgrow clothes I give them away immediately. If I haven't used a cookbook or worn a piece of clothing in 6 months it is fair game to be gone. I don't want to be tied down, cluttered, or encumbered. However, I just cannot part with this skeleton in my yard.
You see, 18 months ago Aunt Willie took her own life. In a tragic, horrible, unexpected, and crushing blow she was gone. And now, I cannot part with the gift she gave us that provided years of laughter, blessings, imagination, and fun...because that was also WHO she was to us. As I lean against the old timbers, weathered, worn--they provide little comfort from the loss except to remind me of a happier time-- that day in the living room with a pile of boys gathered around her, wide eyed, and the shrieks of joy when they learned about their new swing set that was coming.
Suicide changes everything. It kills a person...but it also kills dreams. It kills hopes. It kills plans. It kills innocence. But it cannot kill love and it cannot kill faith. If you have never experienced it in your life than you are very blessed. However, statistics being the cruel purveyor of truth they are-- indicate that in our lifetime each of us will be intimately touched by suicide in some way. It is the leading preventable cause of death in many age groups.
Willow's Run was created as a charitable run/walk to eliminate the stigma and barriers to discussing suicide and raising funds and awareness for suicide prevention and education. I never envisioned, as I watched my boys playing under the swing set-- that my life would take this turn. I am an accidental advocate. I found myself in a place of such horror and deep pain that the only way out was to do the most loving thing I could muster--and that is to tell my unlikely story of an ordinary mom who had an extraordinary relationship with a cousin she loved like a sister. All I can do is educate people to know the signs of suicide, not to be afraid to get help and talk about it, and to support programs that are working in our community. Perhaps when you hear my story, you will stop imagining this happens to other people and you will start being aware that it could happen to you and you will be more aware...eyes wider open...smarter...and know what to do and what to look for. With knowledge comes the ability to act.
Perhaps you have an Aunt Willie in your life. They are the magical, beautiful, sensitive people who have been wounded, are dealing with mental illness, who perhaps cannot see past the pain of today. Please visit our web site, please come to our event and please donate if you are able. If you or someone you love are in crisis please don't wait. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline- 1-800-273- TALK.
Hope. Help. Healing. It's the only way to move forward.
God Bless.
Kim
www.willowsrun.wordpress.com
I remember it well. Willow and Pete took off to the lumber yard and returned with a rough plan and a book of accessories for the boys to choose from. There was a steering wheel to go atop the fort, a telescope to spy distant ships, a panel of controls and the list went on. The boys had to pick two. Since Isaac was the most vocal he quickly put in his vote and the always agreeable Caleb quickly acquiesced. They would need a steering wheel to steer their ship and a telescope to spot their enemies. It was decided. Daddy got to work right away. Every time Aunt Willow came to visit she was like a kid herself....scampering to the back yard to see the progress that had been made. She was magical. She was incredibly generous and sprinkled those she loved with joy. I still can hear her hearty laugh as her boys would tumble off the swing set to come see their Aunt Willie as she pulled in the driveway....they would run to her and leap into her arms with big hugs and the littlest one would get lifted way up in the air and get "zerberts" on his belly with squeals of giggling. She would call out their pet names-- "I-man, Shorty, and Lumpy" and suddenly it was "Aunt Willie Time" and the boys would relish her very presence for as long as she could stay.
When we unexpectedly had to move from that house two years later, the boys were adamant that "Aunt Willie's swing set" had to come....and so it did. Truth is we all wanted it to come. We couldn't imagine leaving it behind. It had provided so many hours of entertainment...and thus peace for me that it was not even a question. The swing set nestled into it's new setting with ease. It was erected before many of our rooms were unpacked.
While a gaggle of three boys was busy playing on their fort, mom and dad really could accomplish so much more. There were grand builds in the sandbox in which toads were captured from the woods and temporarily became part of the play set where Lego guys and Tonka trucks were only allowed to tread. There were games of tag and monkey bar antics hanging upside-down. There were whirling plunges down the slide. There were skinned knees and smiles, imaginary monsters and squeals of delight. There were fights about whose turn it was, and tears. There were apologies, and sneaky tricks, giggles and grins. There were melted ice cream cones, spilt juice cups, caterpillar "habitats" and ant corrals. There were secret clubs and meetings in the fort. There were signs erected, "No girls allowed". There was a contented mama sipping her lemonade and watching it all. Watching it all and thanking Aunt Willie. I would treasure the times she would visit and sit beside me and witness it all herself.
We would joke about growing old together...about wearing purple....about watching the boys grown up and get married. She wanted to open a café and make soup and teach people how to knit. I thought it was a fine idea and thought it would be great to join her when Peter retired. She was my cousin---the boy's Aunt Willie...but for 44 years we were joined at the heart. We would reminisce about our childhood together, life on the farm, our Nanny and our Bumpy, or any of the hundreds of "Thelma and Louise" like adventures we had been on together in our decades long friendship.
Today I wandered out into the yard after a rain storm. The swing set was damp and had the look of an abandoned ghost town. A few broken trucks dotted the sandbox and the grass around the swing is tall...for no foot steps trample it down like they used to. Those boys are now nearly 18, 16, and 14. Swing sets are for little boys. Over the past few years I've thought long and hard about if it should be torn down...reconstructed in someone else's yard where it can live again and ignite the imagination of other littles....however, as I sit here on the damp steps with tears streaming down my face I cannot do it. I am not one to hold onto worldly possessions. When the boys outgrow clothes I give them away immediately. If I haven't used a cookbook or worn a piece of clothing in 6 months it is fair game to be gone. I don't want to be tied down, cluttered, or encumbered. However, I just cannot part with this skeleton in my yard.
You see, 18 months ago Aunt Willie took her own life. In a tragic, horrible, unexpected, and crushing blow she was gone. And now, I cannot part with the gift she gave us that provided years of laughter, blessings, imagination, and fun...because that was also WHO she was to us. As I lean against the old timbers, weathered, worn--they provide little comfort from the loss except to remind me of a happier time-- that day in the living room with a pile of boys gathered around her, wide eyed, and the shrieks of joy when they learned about their new swing set that was coming.
Suicide changes everything. It kills a person...but it also kills dreams. It kills hopes. It kills plans. It kills innocence. But it cannot kill love and it cannot kill faith. If you have never experienced it in your life than you are very blessed. However, statistics being the cruel purveyor of truth they are-- indicate that in our lifetime each of us will be intimately touched by suicide in some way. It is the leading preventable cause of death in many age groups.
Willow's Run was created as a charitable run/walk to eliminate the stigma and barriers to discussing suicide and raising funds and awareness for suicide prevention and education. I never envisioned, as I watched my boys playing under the swing set-- that my life would take this turn. I am an accidental advocate. I found myself in a place of such horror and deep pain that the only way out was to do the most loving thing I could muster--and that is to tell my unlikely story of an ordinary mom who had an extraordinary relationship with a cousin she loved like a sister. All I can do is educate people to know the signs of suicide, not to be afraid to get help and talk about it, and to support programs that are working in our community. Perhaps when you hear my story, you will stop imagining this happens to other people and you will start being aware that it could happen to you and you will be more aware...eyes wider open...smarter...and know what to do and what to look for. With knowledge comes the ability to act.
Perhaps you have an Aunt Willie in your life. They are the magical, beautiful, sensitive people who have been wounded, are dealing with mental illness, who perhaps cannot see past the pain of today. Please visit our web site, please come to our event and please donate if you are able. If you or someone you love are in crisis please don't wait. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline- 1-800-273- TALK.
Hope. Help. Healing. It's the only way to move forward.
God Bless.
Kim
www.willowsrun.wordpress.com
Thursday, December 3, 2015
The Hard Miles
Every runner
knows that for every mile where the wind is at your back and the sun is shining
gently on your face, and the tar is flying under your feet-- there are nearly
the same number of miles where the hills are steep, the sweat burns your eyes,
and you question your own judgment of merely stepping out the door. That’s just how it is. If you’re going to do it—there are going to
be hard miles. There are miles when the
trees dance by you in gentle breezes cooling you and urging you on to the end. Then there are the miles where your energy
ebbs, your legs burn, and your feet talk back persistently. Every runner knows there are easy miles and
hard miles—but they are all good miles.
Running can teach
you a lot about life. This has been a year
of incredible loss and grief for me.
I’ve lost two of my best friends.
I lost my lifelong best friend and honorary cousin/sister when she
tragically took her own life earlier this year.
The pain was—and is—overwhelming at times. I need to choose daily to let God heal me and
not let the grief cloak me in its shroud.
Then, just two weeks ago, I lost a friend whose favorite activities
included chasing squirrels and playing with her squeaky hedgehog. Sierra, our nearly 12 year old family dog
succumbed to cancer and slipped peacefully away. Grief upon grief—watching my children yet
again mourn a loved one lost they had known their whole life.
If you scan your
friend’s Facebook pages it is easy to perceive that loss, grief, sadness, and
mourning, are abnormal--that there is
something wrong with you if that is your present lot. However, that is not the truth. Unfortunately, in this life the hard miles
are part of the journey. Everyone has
them—even if they don’t talk about them.
Maybe if we did talk about them we wouldn’t feel so isolated when we
have them. When you are running some
hard miles you have two choices. You can get out there and do the work of grief,
rebuilding, hoping, trying, reaching, and striving. Or—you can give up. You can choose not to let your feet hit the
floor that day. In the process, our
world—no matter how safe, gets increasingly smaller as we choose not to make
ourselves vulnerable to love and lose, hope and fail, dream and be
disappointed.
Over the past
year, during these very hard miles—I’ve learned some very important
things. First, I’ve learned faith will
get me through. Hope in a better future
will help to heal, and the love of friends and family is the very best salve of
all. I’ve learned some deep lessons about
the adequacy of prayers that have no words because your heart is too wounded to
speak. I’ve felt the unspeakable comfort
of friends who have no words—who just hug me and cry with me. I’ve experienced the incredible grace of a
wounded spirit who is learning to gingerly, carefully, expectantly, put one
foot in front of the other. These are
lessons you do not learn running easy miles.
So, while no one ever really chooses the hard miles, they do prepare
you, teach you, mold you, and shape you in a way the easy miles never
could. This year, I’ve learned that a
mile is a mile. Easy or hard---with
faith, hope, and love—they are all good.
Run on.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
D Day--Failure Was Not An Option
Peter Jacob
Mihelich was a 23 year old Staff Sergeant on the morning of June 7, 1944 as his
landing craft approached Omaha Beach. He
was tossed against his 68 pound pack in the choppy, ink black Atlantic waters. The 457th Anti-Aircraft Artillery/
Automatic Weapons Battalion was slated to arrive the day before—D-Day. However, due to the stiff Nazi resistance and
catastrophic destruction of the heavy equipment their unit was supporting,
Peter and many others were delayed until the beach was secured (Personal
communication, P. Mihelich, July 8, 2014). As fate would have it, he arrived one
day after a scene of horror erupted on Omaha Beach. It was the moment all of Europe held its
collective breath for and dreaded all at once.
It is a moment I have imagined frequently, because that man was the
father-in-law I never met. He went on to
raise a family, including my husband. D-Day was a feat of unprecedented planning and
cooperation and the perilous Omaha beach invasion nearly failed. How preparation and bravery came together on
this historic day leaves us all to wonder, "What if it had failed?"
Five years
of war had left Great Britain in utter shambles, denied even basic comforts. The sewers and streets were rampant with rats
and routine provisions were scarce. British men could buy a new shirt every 20
months and food rationing put limits such as two ounces of cheese monthly on
citizens (Atkinson, 2013) People
improvised--a bit of twisted wire became a hair tie. Their palate changed to avoid rations--eels
were harvested from London streams. Every resource possible was poured into the
war effort. Their very existence was at
stake.
Tens of thousands
of Londoners sheltered nightly in the putrid subway, “The Tube”. Mandatory blackouts from 10:30 pm to 5:22 am
(Atkinson, 2013) sent citizens hiding in the fearsome dark during the air
raids. Children had been evacuated to the country—Great Britain’s future
ushered far from the impending danger to a hopeful future. In these desperate
conditions, Great Britain looked to their strongest ally for help conquering a
common foe.
There had been
talk amongst the Allies of a European invasion for some time but it was not until
decisive victories fractured the Axis that the Allies would loosen Hitler’s
strangle hold on Europe. In November of
1942 the Allies began the invasion of North Africa, fighting through Tunisia
and west to Egypt. After fierce combat
through Sicily and the Italian mainland Mussolini’s regime met a humiliating
and abrupt end in September of 1943 (Atkinson, 2013). At long last the Allies could focus on Europe.
D-Day planning began in earnest.
The sight and
timing of the invasion were crucial, so skilled meteorologists were enlisted.
The weather, beach conditions, moon and tidal phases, air field sites, distance
from harbors and location of the German forces were all considered. Additional barriers were the stronghold of
the Atlantic Wall which Hitler had utilized 260,000 laborers and ten years to
build. It consisted of 15,000 concrete
fortifications from Belgium to Northern France (Berman, 1994). After thorough
study, Hitler’s Achilles was found in Normandy, a
relative weak spot in the wall.
The timeline of
the invasion was a source of great debate from experts who had calculated there
were only 6 ideal days considering tides and moon glow—add the element of
weather to that and there was only a tiny window of opportunity. June 5th
was the first choice for an invasion day, but severe weather forced a delay. Top meteorologists eventually concurred there
would be a window of 36 hours of fair weather for war operations. With that prospect, it was decided the
liberation of Europe would commence on June 6, 1944 (Berman, 1994).
The man charged
with this task was Dwight D. Eisenhower, a 53 year old well-seasoned war
veteran who smoked up to 80 cigarettes daily, contributing to a myriad of
health problems (Atkinson, 2013). No
doubt, he had mulled over a European victory in his mind to exhaustion. He was a War Department Planner, a Senior
American Soldier in London in 1942, and Commanding General of the invasion of
North Africa, Sicily and mainland Italy.
In the spring of 1943 he was promoted to Commander of the Supreme
Headquarter Allied Expeditionary Force (Atkinson, 2013).
The details of
the Normandy land battle were delegated to General Bernard Montgomery. Montgomery’s battle plan was succinct,
“Armored columns must penetrate deep inland, and quickly, on D-Day. This will upset the enemy plan and tend to
hold him off while we build up strength.
We must gain space rapidly, and peg out claims well inland“(Atkinson,
2013 p. 5). The plan for quickly conquering
the beaches and amassing land would be costly and require unprecedented
cooperation and innovation—and the resulting epic battle would be hallowed for
generations as a prime example of bravery in the face of a menacing enemy.
To prepare for
the invasion the Allies conducted secret mock drills called Operation Tiger in
April of 1944 in the northern channel village of Slapton Sands. The 3000 residents were evacuated while
drills with new equipment were carried out (Culpepper 2008). Tragically, on their return trip German
U-boats attacked, killing 749 soldiers and their valuable equipment sunk to the
bottom of the channel. The knowledge they gained proved to be very valuable
though. For example, the Allies learned
the timing and techniques of clearing underwater debris, barriers, and mines
prior to landing craft arriving (Berman, 1994).
While equipment
and plans were readied, so were the men.
Eight million men were drafted from 1942-1944. The average soldier was 26 years old, but on
D-Day more than 50% of the combatants were teenagers. A soldier earned $50.00 a month for his brave
efforts. To increase the pool of eligible
soldiers the Army lowered its standard entry requirements. Draftees were only required to have one good
eye, one good ear and could be missing a thumb or three fingers on one
hand—trigger finger included. They
didn’t even need teeth (Atkinson, 2013). In wartime America it was ‘all hands on
deck’.
Recruits arrived
15,000 at a time via the Queen Elizabeth or Queen Mary through several British
and Scottish ports. The trip from New York took merely 5 days. They were
welcomed to “Spamland”, a city of 400,000 prefabricated huts and 279,000 tents
erected to house the men and equipment of the Allied forces (Atkinson, 2013),
staged to win back the European continent.
The nauseating smell of feces burned in the coal fired incinerators, no
fuel was wasted. The Brits tolerated the
rambunctious “Yanks” and in a time of tight rationing, Britain rolled out the
red carpet, providing massive provisions—including beer.
On May 23, 1944
troops dispersed to their final staging areas.
British citizens watched them pass, but weren’t allowed to speak to them
(Atkinson, 2013). Extraordinary security included banning more than 600,000 visitors
monthly from the coast that spring. Two
thousand counter intelligence officers fluent in 22 languages combed the
countryside looking for any suspicious activity. Censors examined soldier’s
letters seeking leaks and any building or vehicle involved in the invasion
effort standing more than 10 minutes was camouflaged (Atkinson, 2013). They even proactively passed on false
information to known German agents, throwing them off the trail (Czech, 1995). This may have contributed to the Nazi belief
that an Allied invasion would go through Calais, France at the narrowest part
of the English Channel, thus concentrating much of the Nazi’s deadly forces
there and leaving them spread very thin elsewhere.
Early on June 6, 1944 soldiers were issued
seasickness pills and bags, 68.4 pounds of gear, and skunk suits impregnated to
defend against poisonous gas. Then
200,000 seamen with 59 convoys of 130,000 soldiers, 2000 tanks and 12, 000
vehicles set out for the Normandy coast (Atkinson, 2013). The landing craft tanks (LCTs) were slow,
weakly structured and they “rolled and pitched in the great undulating waves…of
the English Channel” (Culpepper, 2008 p. 44).
On board were the
anxious, quivering, crying scores of soldiers preparing to fight their greatest
battle. Some soldiers hung their heads softly in silent prayers. Others, attempting to lighten the mood joked
glibly. Victor Fast, a surviving soldier
of D-Day noted of some of his comrades, “they were sweating blood, literally”
(Culpepper, 2008 p. 46). As they
approached the beaches officers read inspirational messages from Eisenhower and
Montgomery. Chaplains prayed over soldiers, barely out of boyhood. They
dispersed—Utah met light resistance. The British, Canadians and free French
fighters quickly took Juno, Gold, and Sword beaches. However, by all accounts—Omaha Beach was a
blood bath.
As the beaches were sighted, the Allied Navy sent bombardments sailing
over their heads with a dizzying whirl and war planes soared overhead. German defenses fired cannons from their
trenches and bunkers. Initially, the
landing craft doors were opened too soon, swamping disoriented, seasick
soldiers with heavy gear in water over their waist. Equipment that took great
manpower to ferry across quickly became useless as all but five of the Sherman
tanks never made it safely to shore. Belgian Gates, underwater barriers of
reinforced iron frames atop rollers snarled many landing craft to the demise of
the men (Austra, 1999).
The first
soldiers to land on Omaha were from the 29th and 1st
Infantry Divisions, also known as “The Big Red One” because of their
distinguished combat resume (Austra, 1999).
Soldiers who did make the beach encountered barbed wire and heavy sniper
fire above. The dead littered the beach
and washed ashore in a gruesome display of war.
It was a relentless massacre.
German Major
Werner Pluskat of the 352nd Artillery was violently awakened at 1:00
am to Allied aircraft flying overhead and called his superior officers to
inform them. He was quickly dismissed
and assured the Allied invasion would be coming via Calais. He called them back some time later with
reports of paratroopers landing, prompting General Marcks to put the 21st
Panzer Division on alert at 2:00 am.
However, by 5:00 am the Allied fleet was in view of Pluskat’s Omaha
Beach bunker, which survived naval and air bombardments with his phone line intact (Austra, 1999). The slow
response prevented Nazi reinforcements from bearing down on the bruised
American landing force, allowing a glimmer of hope.
Down on the beach,
the Americans continued their slow, bloody progress. Grave registration staff sifted amidst a
fiery hail, performing their macabre work among soldiers coming ashore (Czeck,
1995). Such mass chaos and lack of
communication prevailed that a tortured General Bradley considered evacuation
and diversion of troops to Utah or the British beaches. For example, troops reported that German fire
was coming from a church steeple high over Omaha bluff. However, with orders not to fire on churches
or hospitals, it took 24 hours for command to allow elimination of the German
stronghold (Culpepper, 2008).
Hope appeared by
7:00 a.m. when the Americans opened six gaps in the German defenses on the
beach. By 8:30 am Company C and the 5th
Ranger Battalion landed and captured the rifle pits on the cliffs. Spurned on to persist, Bradley allowed two
additional divisions to land, further reinforcing the effort. The 116th
3rd Battalion and 16th Infantry Division, along with the
1st and 29th Infantry Divisions made progress inland and
eventually forced the surrender of German bunkers (Austra, 1999).
By 10:30 am the
37th 146 Combat Engineers arrived with their bulldozers, clearing
minefields and breaking through gaps in the sea wall. The Navy continued to
pound strongholds on the cliffs. At noon, more Sherman tanks arrived. This time they made it onto the beach
(Austra, 1999). Simultaneously, the 1st Infantry Division cleansed the
beaches and the bluffs of threats, adapting quickly to the treacherous
conditions they confronted on first arrival.
By nightfall the Germans were pushed one mile back from the beach
(Czech, 1995). However, this triumph
was not free. Within the first two days
of conflict the 2nd Ranger Battalion had 60% of their men become
casualties of war. The 1st
Division losses are best estimated to be 1, 036 brave soldiers while the 29th
Division and Corps troops experienced 743 and 441 losses respectively (Austra,
1999). All told, the Allies experienced
10,377 casualties on D-Day (Weider History Group, 2014). For the Allies it was a staggering albeit expected
loss. Battered and demoralized, they began the long battle for Normandy’s
hedgerows and the eventual liberation of Paris on August 25th, 1944.
The men fighting valiantly
on the beach were not alone though. In
the air, 430,000 sorties by the American and English air forces (Hughes, 2003)
bombed strategic Nazi strongholds above Normandy, dropped paratroopers to hold
prime targets, and deliver supplies. A
grand coordination of air, land and sea efforts was under Eisenhower’s command
through the Allied Expeditionary Force and Air Vice Marshal Trafford
Leigh-Mallory (Hughes, 2003). The
tenuous chain of command required brokering and compromise on the part of
Eisenhower. Snafus and lack of
communication and cooperation between the US Air Force and British bombers left
many historians to view the Normandy air campaign as largely unsuccessful. Bombs that were intended to destroy Nazi
beach positions overshot their targets leaving cliff bunkers largely untouched
(Symonds, 2014). However, the lessons learned regarding coordination of joint command
operations are relevant today.
Air operations
included 820 C-47 troop carriers that dropped more than 13,000 paratroopers in
an effort to seize territory near Sainte-Mere-Eglise and other key geography
under cover of darkness (Haulman, 2014).
The brave paratroopers were plagued
by insurmountable hardships resulting in them not achieving their objectives or
being greatly delayed. Landmarks were
shrouded by darkness and clouds, without the benefit of night vision technology. Also navigation equipment was in short supply,
only aboard lead planes. The thick clouds forced pilots to break their tight
formation mid-air to avoid collision.
The paratroopers and planes encountered a hail of anti-aircraft
fire. Most of the troop movers were not
trained fighter pilots so it was a terrifying ordeal (Haulman, 2014). With radio silence ordered, they were flying
blind and deaf into enemy hands.
The destroyers
that had bombarded the beach prior to the landing craft descending on Omaha had
taken positions off shore to allow room for the invasion force. By 8:30 am, when the forces were being
tattered and distress calls went out, dozens of destroyers set a course full
speed to annihilate the targets on the beach cliffs. Some of the destroyers took up positions only
800-1,000 yards from the beach, precariously close to underwater mine hazards
with mere feet of depth to clear their keel. A fortunate benefit to their
presence was a stark decrease in gunfire raining down on the beach from Germans
not wanting to reveal their positions (Symonds, 2014).
Immediately after the combat forces started
the journey across the English Channel, support troops prepared for the fight
inland and the mission of supplying the troops.
Mulberry Harbors, great floating ports that had taken 150 American and
British private sector civil engineers to plan and construct, were towed
piecemeal across the Channel and erected to supply combat troops (Brown,
2013). This massive effort of
collaborative ingenuity was another example of the unprecedented planning that
went into this historic day, leaving a legacy of technology.
So, what if? What if the Omaha beach landing had
failed? Grimsley (2013) states, “Only
their valor in inching toward and destroying obstacles barring access to the
beach exits prevented catastrophe” (p.84).
Historians have proposed theories exploring if Bradley’s initial
instinct to retreat from Omaha had come to fruition. What if a few more bad reports had landed on
his ears? Grimsley (2013) relates that
it only took a few hundred soldiers reaching the protected area of the cliffs
to turn the tide toward victory. All the
alternative scenarios whereby the Allies did not hold Omaha leave a
catastrophic breach in the Allied invasion—an opportunity that the Nazis would
have surely capitalized on, possibly leading to utter failure of the Allied
effort to liberate the European continent.
Most historians agree if the first invasion had ultimately failed, the
Allies had little chance of piercing the Nazi armor.
For his service throughout the war, Peter
Jacob Mihelich earned a bronze star, two good conduct medals, a victory ribbon for Europe, a bronze
arrowhead for D-Day, and 4 campaign stars (Personal communication, P. Mihelich,
July 8, 2014). He didn’t speak of his
service, but stoically carried on with life.
In fact, this is what most veterans did—resuming training, careers, and
family-- perhaps going to an occasional reunion where they shared their
memories freely (Crockett, 2013). While
unspoken, they carried with them a burden of memory of Omaha-- buddies plowed
down by enemy fire-- sights, sounds and smells of war that one never forgets,
rears up in dreams, and forever changes your view of the world.
Seventy years
later, D-Day is remembered in solemn ceremonies as the finest example of people
with common values coming together with their collective resources to conquer a
mortal threat. A world ruled by an evil
dictator actively engaged in genocide was not an option. Although the price was high--the bravery,
ingenuity, and fortitude of the soldiers was greater. The lessons we learned have rippled through
generations. We can all be eternally grateful
that in the hour of greatest need, unprecedented cooperation and valor allowed
freedom to prevail.
This is a picture of
Peter Jacob Mihelich that his son Peter Gerard obtained from a US Army Archival
website. Although the photo is not
labeled, from his research, Peter G. believes this picture of his father was
taken in April, 1945 somewhere in central Germany just about 1 month before the
war was completed. The gun pictured is
an anti-aircraft gun, which he would have operated and repaired. Later, Peter Jacob went on to become a design
engineer at Grumman Aircraft, and was instrumental in designing the electrical
systems for the lunar model, the F-14 fighters, X-29 experimental jet, and the
wiring system of the shuttle wings.
Obtained from
www.usarmy.germany.com
References
"Air Defense Units." 457th AAA..
<http://www.usarmy.germany.com>.
Atkinson,
R. (2013). The road to D-Day. Foreign affairs, 92(4), 55-75.
Austra,
K. (1999). Desperate hours on Omaha beach. World War II, 14(2),
38-46.
Berman,
M. (1994). D-day and geography. Geographical Review, 84(4),
469-476.
Brown,
J. (2013). Turning the tide of war: the Mulberry Harbors.Civil engineering,
83(12), 46-49.
Crockett,
W. (2012). Becoming the "greatest generation", Company B, 137th
Infantry Regiment. Kansas History, 35(4), 234-249.
Culpepper,
M. M. (2008). Never will we forget oral histories of World War II.
Westport, Conn.: Praeger Security International.
Czech,
K. (1995). The beaches of Normandy. Cobblestone, 16(1), 28-32.
Grimsley,
M. (2013). What if the Omaha Beach landings had failed?. World War II, 27(5),
83-84.
Haulman,
D. (2014, Summer). Before the D-Day dawn: the performance of the troop carriers
at Normandy. Air Power History, 2, 6-10.
Hughes,
T. A. (2003). Normandy. Air & Space Power Journal, 17(4),
16-29.
Symonds,
C. (2014). 'The Navy saved our hides'. Naval History, 28(3),
24-29.
Weider
History Group. (2014). D-Day. American History, 49(2), 68-71.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
My Obsession with Menu Planning Part Deux :-)
So a few weeks ago I revealed to the world my obsession with menu planning and how it all started. So I had a few people ask me , "How?" this past week. As I was talking and sharing menu ideas I remembered a key event that shaped our families' palate. When our eldest son was just a toddler I was with another Mom on a playdate-she was a little more seasoned than I was. It came time for lunch and I began cutting the crusts off of Isaac's sandwich because it was the part he didn't like. She asked me why I was doing that. "Well he doesn't like them", I replied--almost annoyed at having to state the obvious.
"But, if you cut his crusts now--you'll always have to--he'll never learn how to like them", she said.
Suddenly, my whole future flashed before me. I knew we wanted more children--so I envisioned a world where my days were consumed with cutting the crusts off everyone's little sandwiches. I envisioned adult children coming to visit me for lunch and with my feeble, arthritic hands--still cutting their crusts off their sandwiches. Granted, I have a lively imagination, but her comment served it's purpose. I knew from experience that children will learn to eat whatever they are given. I'm happy to say I don't cut the crusts off anyones sandwiches and from the time they could eat solid food the kids had whole grain bread--get them hooked on that Wonder bread and you'll be wondering what you did.
When my husband and I got married he thought he was being a health nut when he sat down to a bowl of iceberg lettuce--which he called "salad". I have over the years "converted" him in many ways too by learning to prepare the foods he claimed disdain for in new, fresh ways. We're still working on broccoli. However--even with the broccoli barrier I regularly fix it for our kids and myself. If I only cooked to one person's limited palate and likes then our growing boys with their growing palates would never learn to appreciate a variety. Variety is the key to health! Did you know that fruits and vegetables of different colors are rich in different vitamins and minerals. When the annoying nutrition police ( myself included) tell you to "Eat a rainbow everyday" there is a sound rationale behind it.
I saw an interview with an author a few months ago, to a book entitled "French Kids Eat Everything". The obesity rate for the French is markedly less than ours. While I haven't had time to read the book yet, the point of the interview was that French parents do not make special food for their kids. They are not whipping up sides of mac & cheese and hot dogs because their kids won't eat the Potato and kale soup. The food is placed in front of you and that is it. Hmm. I like it--that's how we roll.
Everyone in our family has chosen 1 item they absolutely disdain they are allowed to say, "no thanks" and leave it to the side. For Peter it is broccoli, for me--it is plain scrambled eggs. I like my eggs to hold lots of veggies together. I see them more as a binder and carrying vehicle for the other stuff. For Caleb--he really doesn't like gravy, which is fine with me. Logan despises bananas. I tried to push this issue once and the texture made him lose some of his breakfast--so he continues to have bananas on his list. Isaac can't stand mushrooms. Now, I still cook with all the above ingredients--it's just that the person who doesn't like those items is allowed a "free pass" if you will--but just on that ONE item.
It's worked--you'd be amazed the variety of foods kids learn to like when it is simply a family expectation that they will eat what they are given gratefully.
So here is this weeks menu:
Sunday- I made a baked chicken with all the comfy fixings, potatoes, salad, steamed carrots
Monday- On Sunday PM I shredded the leftover chicken, boiled the carcass and made homemade stock for a future soup and froze the stock. To the shredded chicken I added black beans and rice, diced chilis in anticipation of Monday PM. After working in the am, and coaching cross country in the afternoon I came home and made burritoes out of the chicken mixture--adding salsa, romaine lettuce, shredded cheese and sour cream to whole wheat flour tortillas. It was easy, healthy and quick after a long day. Although I didn't have a lot of chicken left--I mixed it with rice and beans which makes a complete protein. After dinner I started Tuesdays meal so all I have to do after teaching gym and cross country this afternoon is pop it in the oven.
Tuesday-- Tonight is shepherds pie. However, I make it a little different-- I sautee ground turkey and an onion and mix with onion soup mix, frozen corn, chopped frozen spinach and mushrooms. The onion soup mix makes a nice gravy. I boiled potatoes with skin and all. The skin contains lots of fiber and minerals....never get rid of it unless you have to. Now, because mushrooms are on Isaac's list I did make him a small crock and serving size without mushrooms--but that's ok, because it's the only item he's allowed to pass on. Chopped frozen spinach can be added to almost EVERY casserole and it looks like herbs--it rarely affects the flavor, but greatly improves the vitamin content of whatever you are cooking. I add it to spaghetti sauces, just about every casserole, and soups/stews at the last minute when fresh kale is not available.
Wednesday--leftover extravaganza-- Mama works late
Thursday--Baked Tilapia, rice and red beans (complete protein) and steamed veg medley
Friday--meatball stew--Crushed tomatoes, chicken stock, carrots, celery, onions, black beans, chopped green cabbage and meatballs--your recipe or frozen, garlic, chili powder, paprika thrown in a crockpot all day and eaten with homemade whole wheat bread from a bread machine after our cross country meet Friday PM. It's one of the kids favorite stews.
Saturday--would be homemade pizza night but we have special plans this weekend.
Happy cooking!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
My Obsession with Menu Planning
So my path to being an obsessive menu planner did not happen overnight. The seeds of it were planted when our first son was still a toddler and, while wanting to remain a stay-at-home Mom, I just worked 1 day a week as an RN to maintain my nursing license. However, between the babysitter who came to the house, and my husband multi-tasking diapers and Lego duty--my love for my crockpot was born to insure our son wasn't fed hotdogs and mac & cheese everytime I was gone.
The other problem, is that I'm a slight health food nut---I like to make everything from scratch, I am fundamentally opposed to bacon--to the woeful chagrin of my husband. Another issue is we live "in the boonies". While there is a great grocery store in town, the prices for many items are much cheaper if I travel 40 minutes away. However, every busy Mom knows a shopping trip with that driving time can eradicate the better part of a day in no time. Enter two more bouncing baby boys, a decision to send all 3 boys to our Christian school, carpools, a few more hours at work, growing appetites, my husband's genetic high cholesterol that was resistent to traditional meds and a perfect storm was created. The final piece of straw that finally sealed my identity as an obsessive menu planner was our youngest son's kindergarten year. He was an October baby who tested "young" in some areas, but above average in other areas. The right decision for him that year was to homeschool him, and he joined his class in 1st grade at our Christian school. We subsequently found out about some vision/motor tracking issues that were distorting his test results--but that required some eye excercises and more responsibilities I needed to fulfill. Who has time to shop? And even a half day away from our homeschool curriculum to grocery shop, when I was already working a day to help pay private school tuition was just not feasible. I either needed to clone myself, or learn to streamline my families' menu and meal prep while still satisfying my inner desire to fulfill all the RDA requirements for all the vital nutrients daily.
The piece de resistance came when I discovered Sams Club, where I already had a membership, has a free service called, "Click and Pull". I could actually electronically order up my grocery list in the solace of my home in the midst of reviewing phonograms and writing nursing policies on BLS renewal, have someone else shlepp my order to me and be in and out in 15 minutes or less. Genius! The only problem with buying that much food is you must plan it--or it will go to waste, and you must have a place to store it properly. Also, when you buy in bulk you must budget for it initially. When you buy a month's worth of food for 3 growing boys--4 count the hubs--you bet those dollar signs ring out, Ka-ching.
I set to work. While the boys all quietly played Legos, interspersed with skirmishes over Lego guys that had their accessories stolen and hijacked to a sibling's "Lego shelf", homework, carpools, squirrel..oh yes..back to menu planning--I crafted 6-7 weeks of menus around our life. The premise was to stock up on basics and frozen items which I could store in a pantry area and large freezer, then I could make a quick trip to the store in town for meats on sale, fresh produce and milk on a weekly basis--which would only take about 30 minutes of time. If it worked I would save countless hours in travel, impulse buys would be eliminated, the dilemna about "what to cook" every night and the inevitable storm of chaos that surrounds the 5PM hour when homework, showers, drum practice, sports practice and telemarketing calls all occur would be solved. Additionally, if I stuck to raw bulk items, I could save a lot of money! If you notice I write in run on sentences frequently that is just how my brain works--it's a blog not a term paper--so you get the stream of conciousness necessity for my menu planning.
Every season I change our menu. I look at my families' schedule and create meals around our needs. For example, this is what my schedule looks like now--the boys are 13,11 and 9 years old. I work Mondays and Fridays at the surgical center from 9-2PM. I drop the boys off at school and pick them up--it's just I'm not around during the day to premake anything for dinner--and we all know about that 5PM hour. Wednesdays I am a closer in the recovery room of the surgical center. On Tuesday afternoons I teach gym at our kids' school. And as a new undertaking, this fall I teach cross country on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays until 4:15. On Fridays for the next 2 months we have cross country meets. Oh, and last winter, on a whim I started a business making herbal soap, lotion and gift baskets and it's kind of surprisingly taken off so I frequently get orders I need to fill.
So this is what my menu looked like this week:
Sunday- I made a huge pork loin in the crockpot with potatoes and root veggies
Monday- Shredded BBQ pork sandwiches using the leftover pork from Sunday. I carmelized a bunch of onions Sunday night and added a little cider vinegar and BBQ sauce to to the pork so it could "merry" throughout the day. Add bulky rolls of your choice and a nice salad and you have a wonderful quick dinner
Tuesday- Lasagne (using ground turkey, lite Ricotta, spinach) and salad . I made the Lasagne Saturday because I looked ahead at my schedule and saw I would not have time Sunday or Monday to assemble this. Tuesday after cross country practice I came home, popped the lasagne in the oven and was able to hit the shower while the kids started homework. Then I made the salad while the boys started showering from practice. Isaac serendaded us to drum practice..it was a beautiful plan.
Wednesday is always leftover cleanout extravaganza because I am a closer at the surgical center, in the recovery room. I don't usually leave until the last patient leaves, which is always unknown. Peter has to fly solo that night with homework etc, so I always make sure we have leftovers from the previous 3 nights they can graze on--plus no food wasted. I know the leftovers will be eaten by Wednesday.
Thursday-Kielbasa, potato and black bean stew is in the crockpot. Black beans are a favorite--they have 7 grams of protein and 7 grams of fiber per serving. If I can put black beans in something I will. They are cheap, nutritious and so versatile. I love them. Also tonight I will get the bread machine going and make some whole wheat Italian bread and a salad. I use 1 pound of Kielbasa for a 6 quart crock of stew. It is more for flavoring and to give my carnivorous husband the inkling there is meat in this meal, however, I am counting on those beans to provide the bulk of protein. As a note I opened a GALLON of crushed tomatoes for this recipe and used 1/2 of it. That whole gallon cost me $2.20. In the grocery store I would be lucky to get 24 ounces of sauce with added sugar for that much--this has no sugar. Score. In a little while I will go pick up the boys, we'll all practice cross country and when I come home dinner will be done so I can devote my time to helping them with homework etc.
Friday--Lemon seasoned Tilapia--which cooks quickly after cross country meets, sauteed green beans and carrots (frozen whole green beans and I precut whole carrots into matchstick size to toss in), rice and red beans (seasoned with a little paprika, chili powder) I also like this combo because a whole grain and a legume make a complete protein . Cook in chicken broth with fat skimmed that I made after I simmered a whole chicken from a quick Hannaford rotisserie chicken night.
Saturday--is always homemade pizza and movie night. I break out the bread machine and make a homemade thin crust with at least half whole wheat flour. I always use unbleached King Arthur flour when I use white flour. Unbleached flour maintains more vitamins and is better for you. If you use strictly whole wheat you have to add gluten, so I just add enough white flour to help the crust rise. We add my own sauce--no sugar and veggies and a little mozarella cheese--much cheaper in bulk and easily frozen. We laze around, cuddle, talk about our week, watch a fun movie and eat pizza.
Sunday is ready for another big slab of roast beast to start off the week.
I've had many people ask me over the years why I plan my menu, how I do it, what is the benefit--so I decided to jot it down. I'll have more installments when I have time, but for now off to set the bread maker and prewash the lettuce for tonight's dinner. I hope when my kid's are grown they'll always remember no matter how busy life got, no matter what was going on, we always paused, ate dinner together, and finished our day in the haven of home and family.
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