Crockpot from Heaven

     I slammed the cupboard door with a resounding thud.  "Really,  the crockpot?  He took the crockpot?"  Hadn't he taken enough?  My hopes for the future.  My dreams of an intact family.  I had lost 15 pounds in the fourth month of  pregnancy with my first son and was hospitalized on bedrest.  He left.  He decided he didn't feel like being married after eight years of marriage and he left me to be a single mom.  He didn't want to be a dad and he had completely lost his mind.   And now, he had taken the darn crockpot too.  He didn't even know how to use the crockpot. I can't even remember the last time he cooked anything.  I had been crushed.  I had been broken and wallowing in despair.  But, at this moment I was just plain mad.  I was mad at God.  That man had taken so much from me in the blink of an eye and now I didn't even have a crockpot to make dinner while I worked long hours to support my son and I.  I finished packing up the kitchen for my move and cried myself to sleep.  There was no time or tears left to linger here.  I sold the house and was moving to a cheaper condo near my job.  Life had not been fair or what I had expected but it marched on....tears and all.

     Some weeks later, as I was starting to show my pregnancy,  I began the process of moving into my new home.  An army of friends surrounded me and cleaned, painted, and repaired my new humble abode because I still was not allowed to lift anything too heavy.  My dear friend Diane was scrubbing out the kitchen cupboards when I heard her laugh out loud and call me into the kitchen.  She had been party to many grumbling sessions where I cursed him for leaving and then taking the crockpot on top of it all.  She would nod sympathetically and hug me and pray for my wounded heart--that somehow I could look beyond this crushing blow to the hopeful new future God had in store for me as a mom.  I had witnessed God's unfailing provision in so many ways-- the quick sale of the house, the provision of funds  to cover my hospitalizations during the pregnancy and inability to work as a nurse due to my lifting restrictions, and of course the endless army of helpers that surrounded me at every turn.

I guess I thought I had used up my prayers.  I put God in a small box--the size of my ability to imagine provision and I did not allow myself to envision Him any bigger.  After all, who in their right mind prays for a crockpot?  You know--it's kind of silly.  There are people starving in Africa--sleeping on the ground.  Some people don't even have a cupboard...so that would be selfish, and a waste of a prayer, right?  Yeah, I know he numbers the hairs on my head but that doesn't mean he wants me to eat steaming hot pot roast when I get home from work.  Oh yeah, and there is that too--if He really cared I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with, right?  Yeah.  Right. I begged Him and I prayed night after night for God to change my husband's heart and He didn't......so why would he care about my stupid crockpot?  Yes, I had put God in a very small box indeed.

Diane called me again. She beaconed me to the kitchen, "Kim, you've gotta see this!"  I waddled in, tired from the move.  I could feel Isaac kicking.  It wouldn't be long at all.  Honestly, I was expecting she had found a pipe leak or  something else broken.  My bitter heart was expecting the worst.  Diane's grin was as wide as the sky-- her eyes twinkled and she had a tear streaming down her face.  The cupboard was wide open and she pointed.  "Look, Kim, do you see it?"  There on the bottom shelf, still sealed and new in the box was a crockpot. A brand new crockpot.  My heart stopped.  In His sovereign loving care  God had provided a brand new crockpot for his bitter, broken, angry child-- to show her He still loved her, He still was in control--and yes, He did want her to have steaming hot pot roast after a long day at work. 

My box was broken that day.  I realized that no care is too small, no request too silly, and no need too obscure to bring to the One who loves my soul.  He will not always protect me from the trial but He will walk me through it--sometimes carry me through it--and He will provide all I need to the very end. And sometimes, just because He loves me He provides things I don't need.  But, just like a loving earthly father, He desires to lavishly grace us with our heart's desires when it is good for us.  That crockpot from heaven taught me I can trust God to provide for my every need and then some.