Freeze Time

Many things get put aside in a move. We moved into this home two years ago and in the midst of boxes and renovations 3 pictures of my kids were put aside when one of the frames was damaged. As I hung the pictures that represented my children four years ago, I stared into the faces of a 7 year old Isaac, 5 year old Caleb, and a 3 year old Logan.

Logan had a boo boo on his chin that didn't heal for months because he wouldn't leave it alone. I even made him little gloves to wear in his sleep so he wouldn't pick in his sleep. There he was with a wide eyed grin, arms crossed in a standing pose--with a big boo boo on his chin.

Caleb posed for his picture with his usual impish smile lighting up the room. He had just entered kindergarten and he was loving every minute of Mrs. Holmes class and all the new friends he had made.

Isaac was losing teeth. His mischievous grin revealed the Tooth Fairy had been very busy at our house. As I looked at my eldest son I was overcome with a feeling of sentiment--they were growing up too fast. Wasn't it just yesterday I had held my baby boy and became a Mom?

I sat staring at the pictures I had just hung on the wall. I felt as though I was at the precipice of the hill of a big roller coaster ride--just ready to go over the edge--rounding the corner to the big drop as time unrelentingly presses forward and the unyielding cogs of days and years slip away.

They had changed so much. In the picture Logan still had his infant-like chubby cheeks. Now he is a long and lean boy of nearly seven. Caleb can read, is a math whiz, and dazzles us with his balloon animal creations and the science facts he knows. Isaac is our soccer star, so quick on his feet and intense in his art and everything he puts his mind to. Little men with their own personalities and interests, friends and schedules. They grew up before my eyes.

I am surrounded by empty nesters. In my work almost all the women have either raised their kids, or this fall had driven their last child off to college. I saw the mixed emotion of excitement and longing in these friends as they wrestled with that feeling of wanting to keep their kids little--but also wanting them to be successful and independent adults.

Here it was. Blink. In the midst of a busy move and a busy life. Blink. Three little boys. Blink. Grew up so fast. They're still here. Blink. They're still little. Blink. I'm going to enjoy every minute of this rainy day with them. Blink. Because we never know about tomorrow. And when I blink--they will really be big, and they will have their own life and my job will be much different. For now they still need me and I will enjoy this minute.