Purple Kisses and Other Gifts


I am eternally amazed at how much insight our children give us into life. More often I feel that I am the one learning life’s lessons through my children as I try to teach them. One such lesson was reinforced to me in such a vivid way last fall when my son Caleb who had just turned four, reminded me of something I had been taught all my life. However, in the daily practice of the mundane, sometimes these important truths are lost and swallowed up in mountains of laundry and washed away with the suds of a continual parade of dishes. Caleb reminded me that the most exquisite and precious gifts we give in life are free.

It had been a particularly rough day. For one thing, it was a grocery shopping day. For any of you who have experienced this seemingly ordinary feat with small children in tow you will understand immediately that this act in itself is enough to summon the Calgon and calls for deep cleansing breaths to relax away the tension. But, for those of you who are not familiar with this, we shall save this adventure for another episode, for it surely deserves its own paragraph.

Then, there were the little squabbles between brothers that seem to henpeck away at a mother’s sanity. It had been raining and I hadn’t been able to send the boys outside for their daily release of excess energy. My husband had recently changed jobs and my oldest son had just started kindergarten, so we were adjusting to those new schedules as well.

By the time I tucked the boys in that night I was ready to collapse in a heap of exhaustion. As I went in to kiss Caleb goodnight and say his nighttime prayers with him I lay my weary head upon his pillow. When the final “Amen” was said I remained there for a long time just enjoying the quiet and cuddling with little Caleb. After awhile he asked me, “What’s the matter Mommy?” because I usually didn’t linger that long. I told him that Mommy was just very tired and it had been a long day. He thought for a moment, his huge brown eyes were pools of deep thought. He was always so sensitive to everyone’s feelings.

After a bit he said, “Mommy I know what will make you feel better.”
“What’s that?” I asked curiously.
“Here Mommy,” he said, as he leaned over to give me a kiss.
“Thank You Caleb, I think that will make me feel better.”
“It was a special kiss”, he said.
“Oh, was it Caleb?” I asked.
“Yup, It was a purple kiss Mommy, because purple is your faaavorite color”.

Tears came to my eyes as I instantly felt the relief from the day’s insignificant pressures. A single act from an innocent little 4 year old boy put it all into perspective. He didn’t have the money or resources to buy a gift or card, or fix me a cup of tea, or anything else adults do to make each other feel better. But he had his heart. I marveled as I thought of the loving care that went into that gift.

Every bedtime since then, my son Caleb has given me purple kisses. Sometimes I get purple and pink kisses simply because he’s under the impression that girls like pink. He always tells me how many he’s “made” during the day and on several occasions I have gotten the very last purple kiss, until tomorrow when he will “make” more.

We all receive gifts like this from the people we love and the people we touch in our daily life; a child’s smile, a pat from a wrinkled elderly hand thanking you for kindness, a familiar hug and kiss goodnight, or a telephone call from across the miles just to see how you’re doing. These are gifts of the heart. Purple kisses are meant to be passed on; it’s the only way they grow. We have to make the time to receive them and the space in our hectic lives to savor them, and the inclination of our heart to give back freely the precious and priceless treasures we are given.

Go ahead…give someone in your life a purple kiss today!