Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails


I’m not sure when my sons’ affinity for bugs and Ugh started. However, I’m pretty certain that the “Y” on half of their DNA has something to do with this condition. I have learned to adapt to the presence of creepy crawlies. Fortunately, I was raised in the country. I’m not afraid to get dirty and I have hunted down my share of garter snakes with a pair of salad tongs.
One of my earliest memories of one of my boys discovering the insect world was when our middle son was just starting to crawl. I brought him outside on a blanket peppered with many interesting toys while I worked in the garden. As I weeded he would coo, and look cute and play with his toys. He got adventurous once in awhile and would meander off his safe haven. I would turn around and find him with a mouthful of grass. I’d brush him off, pick the blades of grass out of his two teeth and give him a stern” No”. After a repeat of that episode we changed our tactics and I strapped him into his stroller. But the damage had been done. He didn’t eat well all day. He just was not his usual cheerful self. After dinner I thought I’d put him in his Johnny jumper. This was one of his favorite spots. Surely that would cheer him! As he began to bounce a smile came back to his face. But before too much time elapsed I could see the cause of his angst. With one quick “BLURP” there on the floor in front of his Johnny jumper lay a whole, intact glowing green caterpillar. According to the Poison Control Center that particular specimen causes nausea and vomiting. Indeed!
Our oldest son has an affinity for capturing insects as pets. Although, this has definitely decreased since we got a dog last year, I still occasionally find crispy fried insects in little containers with bits of grass and sticks. His intentions are very good. He cares for them tenderly for a long time, making sure the grass is moist, and they aren’t in the sun. However as little boys often do, he gets distracted and off to his next adventure, leaving his arthropod prisoners to their slow demise. At least he gives them air holes now with a little help from me. That is definitely an improvement in the living conditions. However, I’m waiting for my husband to ask why all the Tupperware containers I send to work with his dinner in them have holes punched in the top. I always thought I would tell him “that it aids in the even dispersal of the microwave energy which results in more consistent heating of the food.” It sounds plausible. I’m sure he’ll buy it.
I suppose it’s partially my fault these little creatures are forgotten, since I put a moratorium on these kinds of pets from entering the house. I made that rule after the spin cycle caterpillar soufflé that I found one laundry day. That happened one warm spring day when our lawn was just crawling with caterpillars. I think the boys were having a contest to see who could fit the most caterpillars in their pocket. I caught them in the act, and thought they had emptied their pockets well before they shed their clothes. But it seems we forgot about the really squishy ones in the bottom of their pockets. Well by the time they got through with the spin cycle in my washing machine, they were a lot squishier than when they started.
For awhile our oldest son was bringing his specimens in to school for show and tell. That is always an educational experience. However, as I was driving him to school one day his caterpillar escaped in the van somewhere. He was afraid he wasn’t getting enough air from his aerated lid, and he lifted it off. There were lots of tears that morning when we never found “Squirmy”. But after a quick surveillance of the van we found a dead beetle and that sufficed for the job. Although I do vacuum the van on a semi-occasionally rare basis, I do hope that my youngest never mistook it for a petrified French fry. But, if he did, we will just chalk it up to extra protein.
I have given up long ago on this issue. It’s just part of the charm of raising little boys. The song is right. “Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails… That’s what little boys are made of!” I guess this “sugar and spice” Mama is just going to have to live with it!



Kimberly Mihelich